Kundalini

As I write this, it's 4AM and my cheeks are just in pain.. like if I was weightlifting and am having some kind of cramping, soreness, and tension.

Haha, yes I'm known to talk and talk and talk, but it's not about that. Lately I've been intensely practicing what I call Healing Grace, or Chakra Awakening, or Kundalini Therapy... it's been called so many things by so many people, the name doesn't really matter.

I've seen amazing progress before I started doing this, with Yoga, Yoga Breath, Meditation, NLP, Medical Marijuana, and Joy.

I must admit, my latest tools have not resulted in instantaneous results as the other more aggressive techniques, but my consistent practice, I am sure, is the cause of these changes, even if they occur at early morning! I've felt changes in my chest, hips, back, shoulders, buttocks and upper thighs, legs, and feet. I should call them Upgrades because my body does feel enhanced. The changes have been a bit slow, or maybe just overnight while I sleep, but I'm feeling better than ever, although admittedly in pain and discomfort as the final mile stretches on in front of me.

Do I grind my teeth? Is this why I feel this pain? Was I trying to fall asleep and somehow stresses myself out. There. I loosened up my jaw. Now I'm feeling the pressure on my temples. I will...

I must concentrate on this, and hopefully it will also trigger sleep. Sorry for leaving abruptly, but duty calls.

New Body

The time has gone quickly, although I know it's been 2 weeks or so.

I've spent most of my time progressing with my self-therapy and it is going so well!

It is a combination of yoga, meditation, and rest to treat my back pain after a decade of little relief. (Chronic back pain caused by lack of exercise, bad posture, etc.)

I'm still on vacation but am starting to feel urgency in working full time on my projects!

I 'officially' started yesterday by jamming out with FITTER www.bandfitter.net at their studio in Vernon, CA. It was tons of fun trying to play with the band using Ableton Live and the APC 40!


Ok, I'm going to order my phone line and internet before they close the coffee shop... that way I can keep up with all my blogs and online projects, because stealing internet or going to Starbucks just isn't working for me.

(The picture is from one of my work-outs and stay tuned for a site where I describe some of the techniques I'm using to get better.)

Day 4 of Independence

By the way, I'm probably not going to use numbers to count how long it has been since I left my previous life for this one.

I've begun to force myself to think of time differently than before.

The past is not some archived folder system of memories and places and events left behind like some kind of wake trailing a boat.

The present is not just the place where the past seems to be crash landing, but it's the moment that only truly exists: the very here and now. The moment that just passed, just now, and just now, and just now!

The future? It's the moment that is about to happen, and just did, and just did, and just did!

So, instead of thinking of days as "Tuesday" or "Friday" or the dreaded "Monday", treating every single day equally. I'm not going to attach personalities or vibes or predict how well or how horrible my day is going to be.

I don't have days. I just have a lot of nows.

Everything I share here will be considered part of the documentation of my nows under new circumstances, a new me, a new beginning.

But let me introduce you to the first few nows of my rebirth.

After an emotionally exhausting and exhillirating last two weeks, I attended my going away reception and ended my last day in Venice dancing and drinking and rocking out to some of my favorite bands like Fitter and Fatima.

Saturday and Sunday looked exactly the same: back pain galore and lots of therapy. Looks like decompression is involuntary!

Monday I met with my friend Sal and Jesus for the reunion we have every 3 years. Sal had also changed his life and left it all to start from scratch!

Oh my science! What are the chances?? He says it's providence, I call it life energy. I call it the planet gathering it's prophets, missionaries, and warriors for a final fight.

:)

So the rest of the day was spent with Sal and we've already talked about living together and being business partners in our crazy quest to live like 'normal' people without the comfort of being in places we've invested so much of our love and experience. We are both creative and we both want to continue our lives helping other people achieve fulfillment and joy!

Sunday I did my therapy and had a break through, like I did 3 weeks ago, where I felt my body achieve a relaxation I haven't felt in a long time.. 'cured' myself, but the that allowed energies to flow freely and finally for me to take the plunge and start a new life.

My body started moving back to where I was before and I've been fighting since then to knot return to the shaky ball of twisted muscle I have been in the last few years.

But TODAY, today was the biggest achievement I've had in a very long time. I spent from the morning, around 10am til around 7pm today creating a new body for myself. And I've achieved so much, I feel so close to victory that I can say I feel reborn.

Reborn.

I've been in tears today going through the experience of power and control of my body. The harmony I have been able to achieve.. so simple to achieve when my mind and body are talking directly to each other.

Such an amazing experience I plan to blog about at another site!! It is something that I plan to share and help others achieve the same success I have.

Ok, well that's a chunky update for today, but let me tell you, I am having an AMAZING time!

I'm at Sbucks using WiFi and hope to get my internet at home and phone line working to start getting my businesses going! But right now I'm decompressing and I'm enjoying this vacation...

Until next time,
here is the mantra
that was doing wonders for me today:

I am the creator
I am the healer
I am free

+7 My last Monday

Monday.

The most hated day of the week.

Now behind me.

Although I must say that Sunday for me was the worse day of the week. Why? Because it was like going on a date with a cute girl, and then at the end of the date she kicks you in the crotch.

I mean. I thought you liked me.. and now you're sending me back to work on Monday? Monday was like the babysitter that didn't want to take care of you, so your diapers were sticky all the time and you never ate... But Sunday was like your mom dropping you off at the crazy babysitter's house to be tortured.

It's Sunday's fault.

It doesn't matter to me anyway, all these labels we use- everyday is exactly the same as the next. Monday's don't have special properties. Hahahaha.

Yet, the time comes closer in which my life will be very different. And what an understatement!

Stay tuned on here as I document my adventures. I plan to try out many different 'hustles' or 'jobs' as commonly known. I'll post video, blogs and of course pictures so you can see my descent into a personal hell and emerge from the fire victorious and with a smile on my face.

Told more people today from work that I was leaving.. so sad. Still, I'm making more connections! Today I found out one of my colleague's daughter is a singer and has come out to L.A. specifically to pursue her dreams! What a great opportunity to network and have some kind of support group. Haha.

I remain hopeful. Most people say "Takes Balls" after they hear my reason. But it sounds more like they're saying "Takes Balls to walk away from losing a poker game just to trade the rest of it for lottery scratchers."

Exactly.

But I'm trying to take it in stride, always look at the bright side and all. No need to create drama!!!

Let's see how far "Takes Balls" takes me...

WTF-DAY +4 It's Friday.

Yes. It's Friday.

I'd like to say I'm losing my mind, but I think I may have already lost it. And the fact that I'm not sure pretty much confirms it.

I'm still at work, trying to relax, trying to relax, before I go dancing in Venice. I will perform a self-healing relaxation method I use while I type...


It's been overwhelming to do this. I'm telling new people everyday that I am leaving and it's a bit devastating. Whether anyone likes it or not, we're a family, and for the most part a happy family... so it's tough to say goodbye, especially thinking that I would have liked to have become closer friends, acquaintances with many of them.. but I sacrificed some of that for my music... and now, I'm sacrificing that again for the music.

Honestly though, there is still time to have that, and it might actually be easier to be friends with some of these people if we're not working together! Haha.

I think sometimes people want to join me in my insanity but they think of all the HR implications. You know.. they want to protect their job. So hopefully I'll see lots of them loosen up a little and join me for more fun and adventure and very tough and exhilarating journeys ahead.

I said today that I envision myself as joining the crew of a ship traveling from Spain to the "New World". How exciting to explore beyond what you can see! For me, I only see as far as July 18. After that, there is only FOG. Maybe a shark, a whale, a leviathan, a monster of the deep dark sea...

Only time will tell.

And this blog.

One week from now, around this time, I will probably be drunk out of my brain! Yay!

BTW: I'm starting a new business... catch phrases. Don't know how I'm going to make money off of it yet, but my first entry which I came up with today is:

chiles dorados = chido = awesome

Ok, I'm off to shave the beard before dancing to the HOUSE music.

WTF-DAY + 2

So yesterday I did it. I finally fucking did it.

It was as if I was laying on the floor and some forced pulled my legs, each one through a different door leading to a different room.

The wall at my crotch.

Now, I found out I could pull myself up and leverage the strength in my arms against the pulling forces, but I would probably only have enough strength to swing myself from between both rooms into one.

But which would it be?

The strain between my thighs was so strong I felt I would soon be torn into two, or one smaller and another bigger piece, kind of like a wishbone, the bigger piece gets the wish...

What if I just allowed myself to be torn in two, and wish to be put back together and survive the whole ordeal. I mean, if a turkey can grant you a wish, couldn't me wishing during my own dismemberment allow me to travel through time or resurrect myself?

Hell, if that doesn't work then what good is any supersti- I mean, tradition that we have? I mean, have you ever verified with anyone that their wishbone wish came true?

Huh?

Not me, no siree, never even seen a serious news article or segment on 20/20 about it.

So I decided to pull myself into the room on the left and I entered the WTF ZONE.

*insert copyright protected musical theme song in readers' heads in a clever manner here*

I have no job waiting for me, I have no real plan. I have no savings. I have no other job experience other than being a host at a restaurant, a phone master, and pouring sodas as quickly as possible into as many cups as I possibly could in the correct order according to the order of the orders coming in through the "Order" counter windows.

My big picture is that I'm going to do everything I've ever wanted to do. I'm not attaching any $$$ figure. The success is not in the final tally, but in the sport itself. It is only a competition against myself. As long as I am challenging myself with my endeavors I am succeeding. Not the destination, but the journey.

Being there, exactly where I want to be.. in the mix, in the moment, in the warmth.


Reality check:

Unemployment is high
Money goes fast
You have no plan


...


Wrong.

I do have a plan.

My plan is to survive long enough to enjoy all those things that no matter if you believe in the afterlife, you can only do here in this lifetime.

I mean, I don't know if heaven's gonna allow you to smoke pot and trek in dangerous jungles and swim beside whales in dark lakes.

So I ain't gonna risk it. Heaven may not have it, so I better take advantage while I can now.

Also, Eternity's kinda boring if you can't die. No matter what you want to do, with eternity you can do all of it and get really good at it and then finally be so good at everything there is nothing to get better at and then you're just still for all eternity, as if you were dead, forever.

It's more exciting when you think you have EVERYTHING to lose.

And that's how I feel.